Must Divorce Necessarily Follow An Affair?

Most of us either know someone who has been touched by divorce or have been touched by it ourselves. It is sadly a fact of life for too many families in our society.

Divorce claims a high toll and not only on the people directly involved. Immediate family, extended family and friends are all touched. It's touched me personally. One day my sister phoned me. She had caught her husband in the act of bringing another woman into their home. She and her husband had been married 17 years, she had known him since childhood. Suddenly she was convinced that divorce was the only answer.

In the months that followed, my sister had many visits to her lawyer and several court appearances. This took its toll. My sister began to lose weight, cried often, became dependent upon others, lost self esteem and basically began to fall apart.

She had no savings so had to rely on so she turned to our parents for assistance, help they could ill afford to give. They helped her with legal expenses and also with money for her basic living necessities. She asked me to help with the details of the divorce settlement, something I felt was a no-win situation for me, I could see that no matter what the outcome I would be blamed for any shortcomings.

While I was certain that everything was on a downhill path, I suddenly realized that my sister had started talking to her husband again. She was phoning him every day, in fact. She was beginning to take better care of herself and had become much easier to be around again. I was opposed to her going back to her husband. After all he had been unfaithful to her. Yet I wisely stepped back and let her take charge of her own life again, realizing that perhaps only her husband was the one who could make her happy again.

My sister was still concerned that the healing process was not going to be an easy path. Her husband agreed to attend marriage counseling and they were told that recovering their life from the aftermath of the affair was possible but would require hard work on their part and definitely a strong dose of dedication. My sister and her husband made the decision to do what was needed to get their marriage on track again.

First, the loss of trust had to be restored and this would not happen all at once. Fortunately my sister had a heart of forgiveness, much more than I had ever given her credit for, and this if anything was the key to eventual success. They have worked very hard to make their marriage a good one in the five years since all of this happened. They set aside time for one another, plan vacations together and make it a point to talk to one another before going to sleep at night.

The cost of divorce is high, both financially and emotionally. It is especially costly to children when they are involved. Besides the heartbreak their self esteem will most certainly take a hit. So it makes sense to pay attention to how your marriage is going and doing what you feel needs to be done to keep it on track. I have learned, and perhaps you should as well, the value of setting aside time to be with your spouse. Whether it's a night on the town or walking a couple of blocks to get a hot dog, these times can be special. Finally, let's not forget that when we get married we are taking sacred vows and these vows are for a lifetime. In good times or bad you want to make your marriage work and not let the thought separating ever take root.

Article Source: http://www.triplexarticles.com

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